Snarky Cards pack so much brutal honesty per card they make the folks at Someecards look modest and polite by comparison. Alisa Starr, Snarky’s mastermind, creates the cards using acrylics and watercolors on postcards. The text is added with an Olympia typewriter for a vintage/serial killer vibe, which- added to the simplistic imagery- makes the cards seem as if they came from a highly demented elementary school student. And, yes, I actually mean that as a compliment. 

There’s some adult themes under the cut so if you feel a little faint at the mention of one night stands or bags of weed, move along. 

Great Body Card, $3.00 

How to Dump a Lunatic Card, $3.00 

(It says: “I was happy to uproot my life to be with you. Had I known you were planning on becoming a crazy person, I wouldn’t have bothered.”) 

Yer Mom is Scary Nuts Card, $3.00 

Putting Out Card, $3.00 

My Stash Card, $3.00